


Letters Home

by librariansheart



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Gen, Post Season 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2018-12-17 15:59:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11854920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/librariansheart/pseuds/librariansheart
Summary: When Shiro vanishes, the paladins search for any possible clue to his whereabouts, and they find a datapad with a series of encrypted files on it in his sparsely appointed room.  When they crack them open, they're in for a surprise.





	1. A Testament

**Author's Note:**

> This is a 10-piece fic currently in progress. Each letter will form its own chapter and will be posted on no particular set schedule.

Shiro’s image flickers and stabilizes on the screen, a smile on his face, giving a little wave to the camera. “Hey guys. I guess you found the tablet, huh. Which means I’m… not with you anymore. It’s okay. We knew this was bound to happen at some point, right? I know you’re going to do great things, and you don’t need me there to do it. So, uh, what you have here are a series of letters. Each file’s addressed to its proper recipient, and there should be one for each of you: Pidge, Hunk, Lance, Keith, Allura, Coran… And Matt, Commander Holt, and Mrs. Holt if you ever get the chance to deliver them. If not, it’s not a big deal… But ah, I’d ask that you let everybody read their own before deciding if you’re going to share them around. That’s your own decision, and I wrote them with just the one person in mind, so.” 

He looks aside, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t really have any kind of a last will and testament or anything, so this is kind of it. It seems silly now that I’m saying it out loud, but I thought… maybe it might be nice to be able to leave you all with something to remember me by. A little something of your own.”

Grey eyes refocus on the camera, seeming to look right through it. “I am proud to have been a part of this team. From the Garrison, to the Kerberos Mission, to the Paladins of Voltron. It just goes to show that you can’t predict the curveballs life’s going to throw you."

"This place, this group… I have never felt more included and more loved than when I was with you. You are the best family a man could ask for. Don’t give up. Don’t lose hope. I’ll be right there with you, cheering you on every step of the way. Look out for each other, and remember to live for the little things, not just the big picture. Hang in there. I’ll see you when this is all over.”

The transmission blips off. Silence hangs heavy in the air, and then nine files appear on the screen, each with their own name. Password protected.


	2. File Name: Hunk

#####  **File Name: Hunk  
Password: [paifala]**

> [Unlike the introductory explanation, the letters are all in text format, his own handwriting with a translation option for printing.]

Hey Hunk,

Man, I must have started this letter three times and it is no easier the fourth time than it was the first.

Look. I know that you have a hard time, sometimes, seeing yourself as an important part of the team. Everyone has their niche, and you don’t feel like you have one. But that’s because you’re the foundation that everyone else stands on. Whenever anyone has a problem, you seem to know, and even if you can’t fix it – and you can’t fix everything, Hunk, that’s not a failing – you’re there for them. Whether that means cookies or a joke or a hug in the middle of the night. You don’t have to be happy all the time, and you have to remember to take care of yourself, too, but you’re the heart of this team. Don’t think that has gone unnoticed.

One of my favorite books as a kid said this, and it’s always stuck with me: “Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” I can’t think of anyone who it applies to more than you.

I could say a lot of cheesy things here, like how the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and an army marches on its stomach, and you’ve got both covered, so no wonder everybody loves you, but that might undercut the point here. Food is your passion, and everybody knows it. Never give that up. Never lose sight of what makes you, you. You care, and that comes out in everything you do, but you especially show that in the way you cook. There’s a reason morale went through the roof once you took over the kitchen, and it’s not just because everything you make turns out amazing. It’s the little things. The way you found a way to recreate everyone’s favorite food, and how it always turns up when someone’s having a rough day. The way there are always cookies in the jar and blue milk in the fridge.

The point is, you’re not “just a leg”, and you never have been. I’m really proud of the way you’ve grown. You’ve faced down fights and dangers that no one back on Earth has ever dreamed of, and you’ve stood your ground. You’ve protected others – and not just your friends, but people you don’t even know. You’ve contributed amazing things, not only on the field, or in the kitchen, but as an integral part of the team.

I’m sorry that we didn’t get a chance to spend more time together. I wish I’d had a chance to really get you flying and find the little things that make you laugh, and actually support you the way that you support the rest of us. 

> [In the code of the file itself, data has been scrambled here where something was written and erased several times. It can be unscrambled to find one of the original texts, but which iteration is difficult to say.] 

_I feel like of all the people on this ship, I’ve let you down the most. All my attention has wound up divided in so many ways and I haven’t devoted enough to really getting in under the surface and getting to know you the way I should. You and Lance both. Lance is easier – he gives me openings and practically begs for attention, but you’re so much quieter that it’s easy to forget and lean on you instead of actually paying you the attention you deserve. I’m going to try and fix that before this letter becomes necessary, but I really don’t know how much I’ll succeed. I swear to you I’ll try._

Hang in there, Hunk. Fix your eyes on the horizon, ease back on the throttle, and believe in yourself. I know I do.

Yours in friendship,  
Takashi Shirogane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Paifala - A traditional Samoan sweet pastry made in half-moon shapes. This sweet treat is usually stuffed with crushed pineapple and custard.


	3. File Name: Lance

#####  **File Name: Lance  
Password: [alejandro]**

Lance,

A little bird told me once that you called me your hero. I don’t know that I’m worthy of such a high accolade, but I can’t help but hope that I lived up to it, at least a little. You’re pretty amazing, Lance, though I know you don’t believe it. You play the clown, but I know someone else who does that, and forgive me if I can see through it a bit. I know you’re scared. And that’s okay. There’s a lot to be scared about, especially out here. I do my best to hide it, but believe me. I’m scared pretty much constantly. Every time we go into one of those Galra cruisers I have to fight myself as much as them so that I stay on track and don’t just leave. So don’t think you’re alone, or that you’re weak, for being afraid. Everyone is afraid. Some are just more up-front about it than others. Kind of weird to hear from a hero, huh, but it’s true. I spent the entire night before the Kerberos lift-off pacing and thinking about all the things that could go wrong. True story.

Everybody has their skills. You don’t have to be the funny guy to make your mark, Lance. If it turns out that’s what you’re comfortable with? Sure, go for it. But you’re smart, and you’re an excellent hand with a gun, and when you keep your eye on the big picture you are really good at going out on your own and doing solo missions. That takes a lot of discipline and focus – it’s not for everybody. 

You’re loyal as the Earth day is long, no matter who is in charge, so long as they’re doing the right thing, and that is so important. We need you to ask questions. We need you to support us when things go wrong. And we need you to yank us back when we’re about to do something stupid. I’m the first to admit, I get blinders on sometimes and I can’t see anything but what’s right ahead of me. Without you and the other paladins to bring my attention back around, it could get really dangerous. More dangerous than it needs to be.

You’re smarter than you think you are, Lance. You have a lot of potential. Bring out that focus and you’ll surpass me in every possible way. You’ve got this, hero.

Yours from the peanut gallery,  
Takashi Shirogane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alejandro Sniper Rifle: The Alejandro sniper rifle is a bolt-action rifle which was designed and manufactured in Cuba by the Unión de Industrias Militares. It is a Precision Rifle used by all branches of the Cuban Armed Forces.


	4. File Name: Coran

#####  **File Name: Coran  
Password: [hold the fort]**

Coran,

In some ways I think you deserve one of these letters the most. No one else got to write you one, and with as much time as you spend getting to know everyone and becoming quietly indispensable while still keeping everyone’s spirits up, you have to feel it hardest of all when someone vanishes out of your life for good. 

I honestly don’t know how you do it. Keep going, I mean. And you hide it so well. Or maybe you’ve actually come to terms with it and it doesn’t weigh on you so much anymore, I don’t know, but to me it looks like nothing short of a miracle.

I guess the main point is that I wanted to be sure to thank you. You’ve done so much, not only for us, but for Allura and Alfor and the trillions of beings across the universe, and I don’t know if anyone has ever actually sat down with you and thanked you. Directly. You hear a lot of complaints, and deal with a lot of stress, you basically run this castle, even with Allura at the helm. You were an amazing trainer, trying to whip us into shape so that we could actually be the paladins you needed.

Thank you for being kind. Thank you for taking the time out of doing so many important things to get the Castle running to sit down and explain what being a paladin means, and getting us ready to fight. Thank you for being there, to talk to, to ask questions, to learn from, to lean on. I don’t know what we would have done without you.

I don’t think the others realize how much we depend on you.

They can’t do this alone, Coran. You know that, and I know that, and maybe Allura knows it too. They need someone to be there for them and to keep their morale up. And to take care of them when they fall. I hate to ask, when you already have so much on your plate. But I know you’d do it whether I asked you to or not - that’s just the kind of person you are.

So just know that your skills and your assistance don’t go unnoticed, and you are genuinely appreciated, even if we’re sometimes pretty bad at showing it. They trust you. Maybe even more than they trust each other.

Thanks for everything,  
Takashi Shirogane


	5. File Name: Allura

**File Name: Allura**   
**Password: breathe**

Allura,

It would be easy to retreat behind formality and find that shield that gives both of us some distance from this, but the more I think about it, the more I think that this is exactly the kind of time that we shouldn't do that. We need to be truthful with one another. 

I need to be truthful with you.

When you first chose me as the Black Paladin… I didn't really understand what you were asking of me. I thought I could handle it, and I've tried. I really have tried. I've already failed you once, and if you're reading this letter that means I've probably failed you again. I'm sorry.

We've tried to support one another, haven't we. All those talks on strategy and Altea and Voltron and Earth. You'd check on me and I'd check on you, and I tried to be the right hand you needed to try and find your footing and retake your father's legacy.

We both have our burdens to bear.

I keep thinking about how alike we are. Trapped a long way from home, with people we hardly even know, forced to fight a war that neither of us are really prepared for, leading these children into battles they never should have had to be a part of. We're both scared. We're both exhausted. We both just want to go home and hold tight to the people we love. But we can't. We never can.

But Allura… You've got to let yourself grieve. All this time spending yourself dry, running all over the universe, saving planets, rallying troops, being the diplomat with the steel core. You can't keep going like that, Allura. The longer you hold it in, the harder it's going to be when it finally breaks out. It's not a weakness. You have been through so much - way more than anyone was ever meant to handle, especially alone. So let yourself feel it. Do it in private if you want to but grieve. And make Coran grieve too. Please. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for him.

Don't let yourself turn into me.

The universe isn't the same as you remember, and definitely isn't as small as I guess I had always imagined, and there is so much beauty and hope out here. There are worlds upon worlds upon worlds, and there are bound to be some that you haven't even seen yet! Places untouched by this war, or maybe colonized with refugees, or even with their cultures simply hidden away for centuries and thriving away from Galran scouts. Stars are being born, right now, right this minute, and casting new light out there. We don't know half of what's going on out there and there are wonders we could never imagine. Like Voltron, really.

It's been amazing, being a part of this. You offered me a chance to redeem myself, and a safe place to re-learn how to be a person again. You gave me back my pride and my purpose. Made life worth living. I lost my family when I became the Champion, and Earth denied me any chance I might have had to reconnect with the few people I had left there. Keith and Pidge started the process, but you gave me the space to realize that this right here - you, Coran, the paladins - you're my family. The Castle is my home. I wish I could stay.

But I knew the risks when I agreed to become the Black Paladin. I may not have known all of them, but I knew better than any of the paladins the kinds of dangers we would face in protecting the universe against the Galran Empire. Whatever happened, Allura, it's not your fault. It's not. I chose to do this, and I accepted the consequences.

I'm really proud of you. That's probably the last thing you actually want to hear, but. I don't know, I feel like it has to be said. You've matured a lot since we first met. You're not exactly starting food fights anymore. You're brilliant and bold, and a comfort to those around you as well as an extraordinary leader. I know you'll win this war, and I hope you'll find happiness. Take care of yourself Allura.

Your friend,  
Takashi Shirogane


	6. File Name: Pidge

**File Name: Pidge**   
**Password: password1234**

You laughed. You know you did.

Hey Pidge. You know, I never thought to be writing one of these. Especially not, what, ten of them? And definitely not to you. I thought we'd have a lot more time, back home, you and me and Matt. I thought we'd get to watch you find your niche and blow people away and cheer at your graduation and tease you every chance we got and watch you scramble our phones all to heck for it. I thought we'd have more time.

But we didn't, and that's okay. I got to see a part of you that I'd never have been able to on Earth. They'd be so proud of you, Pidge. I know I am. I look at all the things you've done, all the ways you've grown, all your strength and courage and tenacity and that same bull-headedness that comes from being a Holt and I couldn't be more proud of you.

I'm not going to be around when you find him. I know that now. But I also know that you will find him, and that once you two find one another there will be nothing that tears you apart. He's always cared strongly about you, and you'll stop at nothing to find him - you've already proven that, Miss I-will-use-this-highly-sensitive-top-secret-mission-to-further-my-aims. I really admire that about you. You'll find him and everything will be fine. You've got this. You always have.

Stars. I don't even know what to say. How can I tell you what you mean to me? The little sister I never knew I needed. You keep overturning every single one of my expectations, and it's amazing. I never would have predicted you'd hug me. Not after losing Matt and your father. But you did and it really helped. A lot. It was like… forgiveness. Acceptance. It sounds stupid, writing it out like this. Like I think you're an angel or something, but that's not it. It's more like. It's hard to explain. 

I've never been able to forgive myself for what happened. I'm pretty sure you've guessed that part already; I'm not great at hiding it. When my memories returned enough for me to remember you, and things started coming back piecemeal, I thought you'd hate me. Even if I did injure Matt to try and keep him safe, I still hurt him. I still lost him. Your mother's going to be furious. When I came to tell you what I remembered, I thought you'd say "Cool motive, still murder" and tell me to get lost. And you just. Hugged me. Only Keith had done that, and only in that awkward Keith way. It was kind of a slap in the face and a mug of cocoa at the same time. I didn't know how much I needed that. And I think you're the only one who could have done that. So thank you.

I have a lot to thank you for, actually. Way more than is going to fit in this one letter. Watching you has kept me strong and focused, and you've reminded me at every turn about why I'm fighting and what I'm fighting for, even if I wasn't able to follow through with it at the time. We depend on you - all of us. You're the creative thinker and the one who can figure out tricks and plans faster than any of us. With enough information, you could make an entire fleet dance to your tune if you wanted. We're lucky that you're on our side. Thank you for staying, even though you wanted to leave. Thank you for putting so much time and effort into my arm. Thank you for everything, really. It means a lot that you were willing to give it.

Remember to breathe, okay? Take some time for yourself. Eat something. Hug Hunk - seriously, go hug Hunk he needs it. Sleep in a bed, not the hangar bay! I mean that! Hold onto that drive and energy. You know what the Commander always said. I don't even have to say it.

You've got this Katie. Find your star and let it guide you.

Your sentimental brother in spirit,  
Takashi Shirogane


	7. File Name: Keith

**File Name: Keith**   
**Password: Falco harlani**

Keith,  
I know you're pretty pissed right now, and you have every right to be. I keep leaving and not coming back the way I'm supposed to. I keep putting myself in danger, and then you have to come rescue me.

I'm sorry. Not this time.

You didn't do anything wrong, Keith. There's no way you could have prevented this, or you would have. I did something stupid, and probably spur of the moment, completely unplanned. I only hope it accomplished whatever objective I had in mind. But as long as you and the other paladins and the Alteans are safe, that's really all I could ask for.

I wish I had something that I could give you. Something good and rich with memory or tradition or something. But I really don't. Even back on Earth, they would have done something with my things when they thought the mission was lost. I doubt they held onto it on the off chance that I might crash-land an alien ship in the desert to carry a warning of an incoming alien invasion.

So I guess there's just this.

It feels so inadequate, given all we've been through and how much you mean to me.

We go way back together, don't we. You know I'd forgotten that shack till I woke up there? Seems kind of crazy now… We used to go there all the time. Get away from town, out where there's space and you could breathe and see the stars and we could tinker with that bike together. Do you remember when you got it? You were so excited. I don't think I'd ever seen you so happy. You already knew all the specs and exactly what you wanted to do with it, just how to take care of it, where you were going to go first… It's how I knew you were going to be a pilot, you know? You couldn't get enough of that speed and freedom. And you weren't just going to be in it for the ride - you were going to take care of your vehicle and make sure it would always be able to carry you wherever you wanted to go.

It's been a real privilege to see you growing into yourself out here. You're actually reaching out to people and making friends and figuring things out together as a team instead of isolating yourself as far away from others as possible. I'm so proud of you, Keith. You're becoming the amazing young man I always knew you'd be.

Remember what I told you, okay? Don't look at me like that - you know the time I mean.

You're going to be fine. I know you are. I can see it in the way you smile now. The way you listen and consider what people say more often. I can see it when you team up to take down fighters, but really stretch out and fly when you're in your element. You care about people, even if you try to hide it.

Just do me a favor. Let someone else inside those walls. Pidge, Hunk, Lance - even if it's just one of the mice, tell someone. Talk to them. I never wanted to hurt you, but I have, and you have to acknowledge that. Don't bottle it up until you break. You have a habit of doing that. Yes you do. Everybody breaks sometimes, Keith, even me. Yeah. Even me.

Take your time. Breathe. Let yourself feel it. It just shows that you're human. No one's going to think any less of you for it.

I wish I could be there with you. I wish this had never become necessary. I wish I had something more worthwhile to give you than a page worth of rambling. I keep wanting to give you all this advice and find a way to make this easier for you, but it really doesn't work that way. And anything I say now, you'll take as law. So I think I have to cut myself off or this is going to get ridiculous.

Look, if nothing else, I want to say thank you. I mean it. I know I haven't been the best at being supportive since I got back, but you've always, always been there for me, and it really hasn't gone unnoticed. It means a lot to me that you and I have still managed to remain so close even after all that's happened to both of us. It seems so much longer than a year.

There's something my commander used to say, but I don't actually think it applies to you. You're already great. And you're already doing great things. You've got this. Get out there and shine.

Your loving heart-brother,  
Takashi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Falco harlani - Red-tailed Hawk - an extremely adaptable raptor which is as frequently found in arid Mexico as in Canada.


	8. File Name: Commander Holt

**File Name: Commander Samuel Holt**   
**Password: fly free**

Commander,

I want to start this letter with a mission report, but that's in the attached document and that's really not what I want this to be about.  It's hard to know where to start…

First, Sam, I'm sorry.  I guess I won't get a chance to say it in person, so it'll have to be here.  I know you probably don't blame me for what happened - that's not your style - but even so, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry I couldn't keep us together, or get you out before this happened.  I couldn't have prevented this, none of us could, but even so.  You asked me to look after Matt, and I tried, but it wasn't enough, and I'm sorry for that too.  If there was anything I could do, anything, to make up for it I would, but I can't. Nothing could make up for all that you and Matt have been through.

If you're reading this, that means that Katie's found you, so you know what a brilliant, fierce, spirited young woman she's grown into.  She has kept me focused and challenged me to keep moving when everything seemed darkest.  You're the smartest man I've ever known - and she is definitely your daughter.  I told her once to be great, just like you always told Matt and I, and she has never once let me down in anything.  She's accomplished so much, and learned so quickly. She's stubborn and determined, and has enough fire to rival Keith. She's not afraid to speak her mind and get things done.  I know you're just as proud of her as I am.  Maybe she'll believe you when you say it.

But the biggest thing I think I wanted to say was thank you.  Thank you for believing in me, thank you for encouraging me, thank you for pushing me to be my best.  You found the edges of my comfort zone and somehow found ways to get me to step outside it and really strive for the things I actually wanted to do and not just what everyone expected of me.

You never patronized me unless I really deserved it. Never made me feel unwelcome or belittled.  You never put me in a box or told me I couldn't do something. That I shouldn't do something, sure, but you always had logic to back it up and questions to make me see why I wanted to do that thing and why it wasn't the best option for me.  You were the best teacher I've ever had.

Over the years, as you taught in the Garrison and I worked my way up, we got close, you and I. I like to think so, anyway.  You never tried to enforce the usual distance between professor and student. You treated me like a friend.  And after a while it felt… like you were more like my father than a teacher.  I've always looked up to you.  Ever since I first met you, and took my first class with you, I've known that if there was anyone I wanted to emulate in this life, it was you.  I've tried to incorporate your lessons and your command style into my own attempts at leadership.  I don't know if I've been successful - you'd have to ask the paladins for that - but I wanted nothing more than to be able to be the kind, caring, firm, brilliant commander who always put his people first.

I hope you can forgive me for all the mistakes and little ways I've let you down.  I hope I've done something, at least, that might make you proud.

I know that someday your family will be reunited back on Earth, at home.  I try to keep that goal in my head and listen to your voice pushing me forward just like you always have.

Good luck, Sir. Congratulations on your brilliant, beautiful family. And thank you again.

It's been an honor flying with you.  
Takashi Shirogane


End file.
